What Really Happens When We Say "It's Fine"

I have a friend who would share something troubling going on in his life and then predictably end his story with, “it’s fine.” When he’d say it, he’d emphasize the “it’s” and then lower his tone and pull in on “fine.” He’d often look away, usually down. I found it strange every time, though it became a light joke between us.

In somatics, we listen for what is within and behind the words that people say. We look for what the body does while words are spoken. And we notice how what we hear registers in us, the listener, curious about any incongruence. I remember that strange feeling my friend’s words produced being a mix of confusion, mistrust, and concern.

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David Martinez